Danger or opportunity?

How do you feel when you see your walking toddler, who just learn how to walk, fall down onto the floor for the first time? Myself, a first time dad would quickly go to him , carry him up and give him a comforting hug and kiss. Ever since Kenji boy started to walk, I never leave my eye off him, unless he was sleeping away in his hammock. When everyone in the house are enjoying the drama on the TV in the evening, I will be the one chasing after him as he will be going round the house, and might even do some climbs or stunts. I was that paranoid and anxious that something might happened to him during his adventures.

Even when he gradually become bolder in taking his steps nowadays, the nervousness in me never left. My actions has causes Kenji boy to cry for me whenever he fall down, even sometimes it was just a minor fall. I’m glad that wifey pulled my aside and talked to me about it. It finally dawned to me that I might be over-paranoid about him falling down. I want Kenji boy to know that he should get up by himself when he fall down. Papa will not always be around to help and carry him.

The step connecting living room and the kitchen

As I said, we are at my MIL’s house last week. The living room are connected to the kitchen with a step. Over the past weeks, I will be running after him whenever he approached the step because I afraid that he would tumble over the steps, and hurt himself. I’d help or carry him over the step for him to arrive to the other side safely. Having enlightened by wifey, I told myself not to do that anymore.

I looked at him intently as he walked over the steps, he tumbled and felled onto the floor. He cried for rescue. I went to him, and tell him,”Don’t cry, it’s ok. Stand up and walk again”. I gave him a kiss as encouragement. He stood up, loitered around the kitchen and back to the step again. Again, he tumbled down clumsily. My heart is skipping a beat, breaking down at any second, couldn’t bear seeing my beloved boy falling down again and again.

‘It’s ok. Stand up and walk to papa”, I pacified him. He did not cry, but looked at me. I smiled at him, and eventually he stood up and continued with his adventure. I couldn’t recalled how many times he had fallen that day, but towards the evening when he moved towards the step, I saw him doing this…

He grab the sides of the wall, and carefully take one step down, and another. He finally made it. I almost burst into tears when I saw that. The one day of falling and tumbling exercise is making him to think, and he has sought a way out. I’m was actually expecting him to get onto ground on his four, and crawl into the kitchen as a way, but he did not resort to that and found another way to cross the border. I know that I have to capture this picture on his second attempt. My boy is doing me proud!

Finally both feet on the other side

This incident not only benefited Kenji boy but myself as a new parent. As Kenji boy continue to learn, I realize that I could not hold him too tight. I would like to see myself letting him go, letting him to explore on his own while I keep a closer look at him. Most parents always see the danger part in the early days of their children. Some of us might became too concern or paranoid about the child getting hurt, but if we continue in such a way, we might be letting go a sea of opportunity for the child to learn and grow up. Anyway, falling down is part of the bits and pieces of the growing up puzzle. We only know how to stand up stronger after a fall. Cheers 🙂

17 thoughts on “Danger or opportunity?

  1. When I thought back this moment I feel slightly relief cos we don’t need a safety gate to fix at the kitchen entrance or stairs case…u know why? Cos they are afraid they might just trips…fall and knock their head.LOL!!

    1. I do hope that my boy will have such sense of danger, and afraid of falling. Perhaps he know that I’d be following him, hence the bold heart to wander around.

  2. As a parent, we learn together with the child actually especially the 1st one… and yes, we got to first learn how to ‘let go’ and ‘let explore’… my child has her free hand to run anywhere she like, and with some sense of danger, she will back off.. gambateh daddy!

    1. When I look at him intently now, he is no longer a baby that rely on me to carry him. He is walking, and running every now and then. It’s really time to let go, and let him explore to learn. But I will watch closely 🙂

  3. Only when they fall do they learn. It’s tough as a parent to see them fall, but if we don’t let them, they won’t learn. Slowly, we let them but making sure we are there to see them rise again 🙂

  4. Andrew, great post. I can feel how proud you are of your boy. Please give him a big bear hug for me. You will experience pride continuously as you see him grow. You are doing the right thing. Yes, let go but keep a close eyes:D It is only when we let our children fall and give him a chance to get up that they will grow into a more confident individual.

    1. Thanks Quay Po. Thanks for the sharing. I want to teach him that we should get up on our own whenever we fall. It is pieces and puzzles of growing up 🙂

  5. Old Chinese people say: will fall, then only will grow big. Let him fall, let him get up on his own…don’t fuss…unless you want a little cissy and cry-baby on your hands. Many kids will cry when they fall just because they love to be manjakan, not for any other reason.

  6. P.S. Do make sure your house is child safe – nothing that may pose any danger when he falls…but no need to put cushions and pad everything. No need to be so protective. LOL!!!

    1. Thanks Arthur. We do. My dad even self make some gates to barricade the living room from the kitchen and the stairs. Oh…we are not so protective, children…sometimes we have to let them fall to grow up. A successful scientist is only successful after many failures too 🙂

  7. It’s good to comunicate among partner and In-law…. but somehow not all partner o in-law will accept the way v do…. bravo u had make it…. 🙂

    1. Communication is always a key in maintaining an relationships. Give love, and you shall reap love. Just be patience, and one day you shall reap the fruits. Cheers 🙂

  8. Hahaha, parenting is like playing kites….letting go an inch at a time….but make sure the house is baby proof as children at this age have no sense of danger yet.

    1. I was, and not going to be so paranoid again. Children are borne innocent. They do not know between rights or wrong. Punishment only comes when they deliberately do something that they should not. At the age of my Kenji boy, he still needs lots of love and patience rather than punishment. Cheers 🙂

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